Hello! Up here in the usually green pacific northwest, it is now a white northwest! All the neighborhood is joyfully making snowmen, snowforts, and sledding while it lasts!
As we head into the new year, I do like to re-evaluate where I’m at, what is going well, and what isn’t. I don’t mind the word “resolution”, but I know for a lot of people, it’s gotten a bad reputation. We associate it with perfection, or rather, failed attempts at perfection.
I used to think so, too. A couple of years ago, I was so disappointed that I hadn’t really completed any goals, only worked on them. This year, it’s been so much easier to take a look at my goals, celebrate the progress I’ve made and recognize where I slowed down or got sidetracked or shouldn’t have expected to get done. Instead, I’m cheerfully celebrating my newfound knowledge and experience while still pressing towards those larger ones!
Because we are expecting the “perfect new me” to emerge in a single year, we can also fail resolutions because we expect it to be easy. Like our habits are light switches. Actually they are probably more like taking a hike. Uphill. With a heavy backpack. You know? It’s not easy for most of us to change, and we are often carrying a backpack of old habits and ways of thinking. It might take longer than we expected to change that thought pattern. It’s possible, though; don’t give up!
So, I’ve learned to use the new year season not so much as a set-up for failure, but as a time to pause, reflect, and reorient. (Once you have goals you’re working on, which is another topic altogether!)
It’s good to have personal goals, professional goals, and, if you don’t live alone, family goals. One of the areas to look at in the new year is: What did our family accomplish last year? How are we doing right now? What can we improve on next year? Looking at these honestly, and choosing a direction to take, will help. Even small positive changes can really make a difference over the course of a whole year!
Final thought: Don’t worry if it isn’t perfect! Take it slowly and make it manageable—maybe once a month if the long term goal is weekly, for instance. If ONE person’s habits are difficult to change…MANY people’s habits are, of course, going to take longer. You’re redirecting more of a barge than a rowboat, right?
I hope you find a fresh start in some area of life this year. I hope you feel inspired, and like you’ve been given the gift of a new year. Of course you can change at any time, but it’s nice to have these regular markers along the way! Let me know in the comments below if you’ve got more ideas or other things that have worked for you before!
20 Ways To Grow Closer As A Family This Year
1. Family Movie Night
We’ve had great success with this one. It started as a “we’re so worn out by Friday, let’s make it simple and have pizza and salad”…it’s turned into quite the expected tradition. We’ve made and ordered a variety of pizzas and have settled favorite salads. Each family member gets to choose a movie on a
rotation, and we make sure it’s something everyone can watch. Stay tuned for my upcoming epic family movie night movie list!
2. World Food Night
This is another one we’ve successfully integrated into our family. I bought a scratch-away world map and once a week (you could start once a month), we look up (fairly) traditional recipes for the country and do our best to make an approximation of the foods eaten there. Occasionally I’ve included other facts about the place, too. You could go as educational or as simple as you like. It’s great way to stretch yourselves, though, both on the palate side and on the cooking skills side; it’s fun to try a new method of cooking a familiar (or unfamiliar!) dish!
3. Board Game Night
I’ve always wanted to do this one but haven’t settled on a regular interval for it. However, once your littles are even as old as three, this is a great way to find bonding time for everyone! It can help your kids learn to be gracious winners and losers, how to play fairly, how to learn strategies, and even what their play style is. You could even have a special once-a-month (fifth weeks are great for this) video game night, instead, too.
4. Simplify the Family Schedule
Everyone’s life and culture are different, but I know that in general, people are busier than ever before. The new year is a wonderful opportunity to step back and evaluate your activities. Are any of them not really contributing to your goals, either as an individual or as a family? Is it time to replace one thing with a similar but different item? Do you need more space or margin in the schedule? Sometimes things are not for this season, or maybe they aren’t as good as originally thought. Be brave and be willing to cut things off in favor of a greater goal—even if that goal seems like “less.”
5. Book Reading List (adults and kids alike!)
Kids usually love books and being read to. You should be able to find lists at the library or online of “must reads” for each age. At the older reader levels, try a new genre or parents can share their favorites from childhood. It would make a great family discussion! Bonus if there’s been a movie made of it!
6. Kindness Acts
This is one of my favorites. Make a list of extended family members and friends. Pick a couple a month and strategize what they like, where they shop. Then put together a little package with a “just because!” note in it. It’s like a mini birthday gift but random, and so much fun!
7. Family Service Projects
This one is similar but with a larger emphasis. You can write your neighbors thank you notes, make a holiday gift for people at a local hospital, or collect money for a charity. Talk to each other about what your passions are. Who do you want to reach out to this year? Now more than ever, people need to have meaningful connection!
8. Read Through The Bible or a Devotional
This has been a great way for us to draw closer to one another. Having a church family has been a life changing source and support for us, and I wouldn’t trade anything in this world for knowing Jesus. If you’re at all curious, or a believer wanting more meaning in your days, an intentional family devotional time is a must! It also helps with idea #12 below!
9. Organize and Declutter
Unless you’re already a minimalist household, you probably have some excess items that just start to get collected around you. If you do, this is a great one to get everyone involved. Pick one room a month (or however you like), and focus on getting that one space up-to-date and organized. As quickly as possible, sell or give away everything you’re not using for about a year or two, and “might” use in the future. What if someone else needs it today? Can you get it somewhere else if you really need it later? Can you consolidate, scan, or file it? The improvement of shared living space is amazing!
10. Reexamine Health Habits
By this I mean, food and exercise. Hopefully you have a good idea of where you’re at, but most people I know, anyway, have an area where they’d like to improve. It might be eating less junk food or eating out less; it might be getting ready for that marathon. Wherever you’re at, pick goals for each family member and, if it works for you, keep each other accountable. You’ve got built-in accountability buddies! Family walks are something that I’d really like to work on this year, too, at least, when the weather isn’t too drizzly with rain!
11. Incorporate Music Into Your Days
If you don’t often have just music on, you might consider some peppy songs in the morning, or soothing classical in the evening. Especially if you’ve got the television on a lot, you may be used to a lot of noise; why not switch it out for something intentional? Have a family member with a beautiful singing voice? Ask them for a song!
12. Incorporate Silence Into Your Days
I really loved putting these ones back-to-back, because it’s such a balance. Is your environment chaotic? Do you feel like it never slows down? Consider a daily silent space or pause. In the morning before everyone is up, I love to sit with coffee or tea and just read a bit of Bible, pray, and get oriented for the day. I think it helps me be a better person to live with!
Quiet time during the day is a great exercise and one I have wondered how to manage in our daily routine. Call it hygge, siesta, tea time, or afternoon naptime…I’m increasingly convinced that a small break or pause mid-day is incredibly refreshing.
Finally, try a “blue sunset” in the evening. Turn off all electronics, get comfortable, and slow down for a specific amount of time before you plan to sleep. This is a great time to catch up on some fun reading (accomplishing that book list you made!), really connect with other family members, or just enjoy the environment you’ve put together (maybe start that organizing and declutter in the bedrooms!).
A little bit of “silence” in various parts of the day can really change the overall feel of the year!
13. Take A Challenge Together
This is probably better for parents of older kids, or couples without children. I assume, anyway; tell me if you think otherwise! Still, there are so many challenges out there, and trying a new thing for a set period of time can really open your eyes to a new aspect of life. A fitness one, a reading one, a cleaning one…okay there’s others too, not just matching this list, haha! Find what works for all of you, that you can all get excited about!
14. Do Someone Else’s Chore
This speaks to the well-known “Love Languages” by Gary Chapman: acts of service. What can you regularly practice to go out of your way to help the people closest to you? Not as a mutual exchange, but rather just because? Be on the lookout for areas that would be entirely unnecessary but really appreciated!
15. Write Each Other Encouraging Notes
Another “Love Language” is words of encouragement. It’s similar to idea # 6, acts of kindness, but really just between immediate household members. Having a record of someone’s thoughts about them from you is lovely, because they can enjoy it again and again. What do you appreciate about another family member? What little things just make life better, having them around?
16. Find New Ways To Speak Encouragement
Sometimes you just need to be intentional about what you say. Well, come to think of it, all the time is a good time for that! How can you use your words to lift up others around you? What are you saying right now? I think it can be easy to take those in our own home for granted, just because we are around them all the time. So, it may take effort to remember to speak well of them, when all you want is for them to stop doing something! Yet, emphasizing the good about a person has a way of being more effective, and making the “bad” easier to deal with, for both of you! Another way to put this is, correction from a place of love is way more effective and better received.
17. Practice Eye Contact, Smiling, and Respectful Attitudes
This one covers a lot, really, but I grouped them together because it’s similar to speaking words of encouragement, except with non-verbal language. This can be hard to evaluate from the outside, as it takes an inside-out effort. But, does love show through in your family culture? It can be hard to look up from the thing you’re busy doing (uh, like typing?!), and stop, but it really conveys so much. These are the people we are closest to and who will, hopefully, be the people closest to us throughout all of life. Why not practice at home what’s so often easier with outside people, and give respect to each other?
“Does love show through in your family culture? “
18. Take A Quiz
I think these can be so fun. A personality quiz, a strengths and weaknesses quiz, a favorite pizza topping quiz? What can you learn about each other, and how can you use it to be helpful to one another? Hopefully by now, you’re practicing loving each other, having a good attitude, and speaking well to one another. Now this new reveal of information should be in a safe place, where we can help one another out. Maybe you need to get someone’s favorite pizza toppings when they’ve had a bad day. Maybe you’ve got a strength that another family member just really needs to be able to tap into. Maybe the thing that drives you crazy about them is actually something inherent to them that’s perfect for them, and you need to learn to appreciate it for what it is! Whatever the results, remember to use them with gentleness and empathy!
19. Teach Each Other A New Skill
This one can be great for parent/kids or even tapping into an extended relationship, like an uncle that lives nearby that can play guitar really well. What would you each like to learn this year that someone else can help you with? Maybe dad actually has some cool dance moves that he’s stowed away for years, but is ready to break out with! Or who knew that mom knows how to sew such great clothes?
20. Do Something New Together
After you’ve shared skills, what has nobody done before? Take tennis lessons, go white water rafting, maybe try a new card game? Find some suggestions that everyone can be excited about! And, for those of you who are less adventurous, be willing to step outside your comfort zone—maybe a little! For those of you who can’t wait to go, be patient, it’s not easy for everyone!
That’s wonderful Joanna! I enjoyed this so much! If I could suggest an easy family service project… We always go to our elderly neighbors and shovel/salt their driveways when it snows. It’s easy because we are close to home and everyone can participate equally. The bonus is that the kids can take little breaks to play in the snow. When we are done we all have a hot drink and they are usually exhausted and easy to put to bed. Thanks for sharing this! You are amazing. May the Lord bless you and your family. -Katie Hope
Hey, that’s an awesome idea! And very simple! And, most likely, welcomed by everyone! Great idea, thanks so much for adding that! And, thanks so much! God bless you all, too!