I enjoy books, and one genre I enjoy is historical fiction. I especially like the books that give you a perspective on what people really thought and felt in their worlds or what was normal for them. There are wonderful historical books of all sorts, but have you ever thought that you live near living historical story carriers every day?
What would it be like for us to ask at the right time and in the right way for those stories? And to take time to stop and listen to them? How much would our world change?
In today’s fast-paced world, where technology and progress dominate our daily lives, we should remember and honor the older generations. Our elderly possess a wealth of wisdom, experience, and life lessons that can either save us steps or commiserate with what we are going through today!
And, if you are in the older population, how could you contribute your stories? How can you find those willing ears to connect with? I guarantee you, they are out there!
Explore Your Family History
Is there a grandparent, great-aunt, or great-uncle in your family that you can encourage to tell their life experiences, adventures, and challenges? How would they like to be approached about it? Perhaps you could be organized and write their memoir or take some notes. Or maybe they just want to sit on the porch and select what they share.
You may not get all the answers you thought you’d get, but try asking about a difficulty in your life right now, or maybe tell a friend’s story that reminds you of the family member. Ask on someone else’ behalf.
Who do you know in your family that likes to talk, has a great selection of experiences, and would be a good storyteller? Start with you own family tree! No one available in the family for this? Check with your neighbors, or visit a nearby nursing home. I guarantee you, someone will be able to connect and want to share-who knows, you might get a brand-new friendship!
And take your children or nieces and nephews along with you. They will gain a greater appreciation for the individual, and others of their generation, strengthening family bonds. Perhaps the younger children can draw pictures of the stories (make sure you ask stories of people who will keep it age appropriate!), and older ones can jot notes and ask questions with you. Find out what questions they have. The ones younger than you will learn how to listen, learn, and respect the older generations by your own investment of time and your own attitude and actions.
Family Activities
Do you remember baking cookies with your grandmother, or perhaps walking the garden with your grandfather? Many of us have strong and warm memories associated with the time spent alongside someone who was doing what they love to do, and often, instilling that same love within us.
If you haven’t done so in awhile, find some way to connect with the elderly in your community or family on some level, and find ways to encourage others around you to do the same. We all enjoy spending time with others doing shared interests (even introverts!) and this will have intangible benefits- such as a talk about life or a funny story, or maybe the preservation of a generational recipe or technique.
Again, bring children alongside you to engage as you invest time into these activities. If it’s something you enjoy, you’ll be doing it anyway, so why not sometimes learn from someone who’s had more years in it than you have?
Not only will it help you and those you bring with you to learn, but you’ll become part of a beautiful tapestry of life and learning and relationships.
Volunteering
Don’t have a person in your life nearby to do these activities with on a regular basis? How about volunteering at senior centers or community programs? It will not only benefit the elderly you are creating a bond with, but will also teaches children the importance of caring for others. Volunteering opportunities such as reading books, playing games, or having a high tea can create a positive impact on both generations involved. These experiences help children recognize the value of kindness and blesses the elderly with the ability to enjoy the youthful enthusiasm of children (or yours, adult person!)
Another useful way to take time to “volunteer” is to simply write letters. At this point in time, the older generation knows letter-writing better than their smartphones (if they chose to have one!) or sometimes even the phone. If you prefer, you might try the phone too, if they aren’t too hard of hearing!
Either way, spending a little extra time in a volunteer setting, writing letters or cards, drawing pictures or whatever you like, will be a great way to add a little extra contact with an elderly population that might not know exactly how to reach out to you!
Model Respect
We learn more from what we see as what we are told. It’s important to model respectful actions and words towards older adults. Treating and speaking of the elderly family members and community members around you with respect, kindness, and patience will have a profound impact on both you and the eyes that are watching you. Your words are equally important; I advise refraing from rolling your eyes and complaining about how so-and-so always insists on the food being prepared a certain way or tells the same stories over and over.
Not only is that damaging your own heart and self-respect, but it will damage those in your hearing; they won’t learn that although we all are human and sometimes nonsensical, we must be respectful towards all people, and especially the elderly around us.
In fact, it reminds me of a favorite novel, Emma by Jane Austen (if you’ve read this blog very long, you’ve heard of her before!). In one scene towards the end (spoiler alert if you haven’t read this classic) Emma is demeaning in her clever words towards a neighboring elderly widow, Mrs. Bates. Her love interest scolds her for it, saying he thought better of her, and this is a pivotal change in her character’s development. Anyway, it’s a great example of how quickly we can let a cutting word out in an unguarded moment, and how important it is to watch ourselves and our behavior.
It’s Simple!
Are you encouraged to a greater awareness of what is already taking place around you? You may only be able to volunteer once a month, or plan dedicated games or teas a couple of times each season. But time is slipping by and what intangible benefit will you discover?
This is not meant to make you feel guilty nor pressured. I’d just like to point out that in a culture and world where disrespect seems all but lost, let’s be the ones who do better. Let’s be the ones to bridge inter-generational gaps and give the young people around us the profound gift of appreciation of those who went before them, as well as the shortcuts of experience and wisdom!
I hope you’re able to find some way to do this, even if it’s to pick up great-aunt Susie to go to the kids’ baseball game, or take your daughter out to tea with grandma every Easter. You will all make memories that you cherish for a lifetime.